As I am preparing for my next trip, I have been thinking about what I am going to be wearing to the airport and what’s going in my backpack. There is truly a method to get through TSA with a smile. If everyone applied this to their travel lives, we would never have a line when we go through airport security.
Oh, if only the world was perfect.
Since many people fail to do this, I will tell you what I do so that
if you’re ahead of me you won’t ruin my day thinking about strangling you you can have the best TSA experience. Here are a couple ways to make your security checkpoint a seamless experience:
I used to think that my love life was going to be like a romantic comedy. I thought that I would get super pretty, put on my Sundays best and I would go to the airport bar and look up and see Prince Charming smiling back at me. He’d send me a couple of drinks to loosen me up and then we’d change our flights to Las Vegas and be headed to the chapel.
Newsflash, I’m still single. I don’t drink and I’m too shy to visit a bar or flirt with a man. Listen to me when I say, stop getting so spruced up when you are going to undress just to go through security.
The belt has to go. The jewelry has to go. Your nice sneakers or heels, they have to go. After you get through airport security you’re practically naked and uncomfortably dressing as people walk by to get to their gates.
Be simple. Jeans and tee shirt. Dresses. Shoes that you can slide right out of. If you have somewhere to go of importance when you live the airport, wait until you get through airport security, go to a bathroom and dress like you intended but don’t do it before you get to the airport.
Stop Overpacking and Stop Being Cheap
These two go hand and hand. Please do not pack everything but the kitchen sink in your personal bag. If you have not seen what’s in my travel bag from my previous post, you can view it below:
Please do not bring any carry on luggage on the plane. You take up all the time removing stuff you should have known you couldn’t bring (normal-sized shampoo, lotion, etc.)
and you take forever grabbing that bag from the top, holding up everybody trying to get off the plane. Stop being cheap and check the bag. It will allow you to get to your gate freely without lugging around luggage and you only have to worry about your personal bag.
How do you know what to pack in your personal bag? Ask yourself what are the chances that you will actually use what’s your bag.
You will need to pack light because while you’re waiting to go through security, you will be placing your jacket, phone, and your easily removable shoes into the bag so that when your time comes, you just toss your bag on the belt and get in line to go through the scanner.
Don’t Be An Idiot
There are several things that go into this category.
1. This should go without saying. Don’t be that girl/guy that loves to take advantage of the right to bear arms in the airport. I am always hearing a story about how someone “forgot” the gun was in their purses or backpacks. How does that even happen?
2. Pay attention. There is nothing worse than a person not listening to what TSA is saying to them and holding up the line. They tell you to place your bag here and you’re putting it everywhere except the spot that they said. Come on! This is not rocket science. Listen. Comprehend.
3. When you are five people back, you should already be taking off anything that you know you can’t have on before going through the scanner. Do not wait for someone to tell you to remove your jacket, your shoes, your hat or tell you to remove your laptop from your bag. You are killing everybody behind you with your nonsense.
4. Don’t argue with security. I mean, I’d love to watch you get tackled to the grown but I got places to be. Besides, by the time I get the phone out my bag, it’ll all be over and for nothing. No viral video for my YouTube channel.
Pay For TSA PreCheck
I know you have seen that empty line off to the side. That empty space confined by two ropes where you wonder if your credit card membership afforded you the luxury of fast tracking it through security. Haha. Nope. It doesn’t. I’m not sure when they started charging you for it but I know they use to count and randomly choose people and it was the best experience of my life. Though, I’m not sure if I travel enough quite yet to utilize this. I mean I guess it’s worth it being that it’s $85 dollars for 5 years. However, for me, that is a quick trip away to a place in the US I have never been. For more information, about the TSA PreCheck, visit https://
Bonus: Trade Your Kids In For Better Ones
If your kids run around in public spaces, you lose one in the blink of an eye or they’re prone to having a tantrum in the middle of the floor, please just find new children to love, don’t bring them or put them in check. There’s no reason why your kids should be running around while waiting to go through security. I will politely step over you and your crying child to go through security to my gate.